It has been way too long

I did not want to neglect this when I got to the happy stage but sadly I did.

 

Sometimes I want to say thank you for breaking up with me, but FUCK THAT! You get no credit in my current happiness I did this on my own.

Thank you to my family who rushed to give me anything I needed after. Thank you to my friends who listened to me, told me I would get to this better stage, who dragged me out of the house, who just let me sit on their couches and not move, for making sure I knew I was lucky everyday because they are in my life. Thank you to the strangers who listened to me and also invited me out. Thank you to my therapist for calling me and letting me come twice a week when I needed to.

Most of all thank you to myself. I fought hard even though I really did think it was going to be close to impossible and it ended up being almost easy in the end. I have pushed myself to be healthier, stronger, smarter, kinder and the weirdest thing more extroverted. I say yes to a lot of things and I am having so much fun.

I still have work to do I am still in a bad place living/job wise but everything else is really good and I hope to write more about that in here on a regular basis.

Day 16

I am trying to take care of myself. I don’t want to think of what we had and what I lost. I am sure I will keep writing things that don’t matter he wont see them or read them but maybe it helps me.

Anyways I got promoted at work I’ve mentioned I still want a job I care about more but still learning new things is good. I lost 11.2 lbs officially, I started going back to kickboxing ¬†classes, I walked some dogs, I still haven’t eaten fast food, sweets of coffee. I made an appointment to get my hair done this week.

I am really trying to better myself and focus on myself but I was really truly in love with him and I don’t know how to get him out of my head.