work in progress very tired and angry not sure if i will respond to him or just the internet.
Please don’t think I am an idiot who has no idea that you lied to me over and over again.
Please stop thinking you are a good guy a good guy would never do what you did to me.
When I said to just tell me if you did not love me or you liked someone else instead you said I was paranoid or blamed my depression. That is called gas lighting. That is something shitty abusive people do you acted like you were above my abusive exes but you pulled the same shit in the end. You let me think I was crazy for thinking something was wrong with out relationship that I was crying all the time for no reason. The fact you stopped spending time with me or coming home was in my head. That the girls you were out with till 5am were just your friends. Seriously fuck you for thinking you are a good guy. You aren’t your a fake and you’re a liar. I got over you a long time ago but that doesn’t make what you did okay.
Saying nice things to someones face if they are lies does not make you a nice guy.
You are a monster. I want nothing to do with you. Thanks for sending me my stuff.
So I have been doing so much better in fact it kind of freaks me out I am waiting for a setback it seems so easy there has to be a catch? I guess well see just taking it one day at a time.
I met two girls the other week and both went well but I only have future plans with one but hopefully that changes. There is also a girl I talk to everyday but Ive just been kind of broke from ditching work after the break up to drive out to see her. They are all super lovely and seem like very positive people to be around so hopefully they will be actual friends.
There is also the boy who is really cool that I have a crush on so I am not sure where that leaves us as actual friends. I have no idea what to do about that I would never have thought I would be ready and I probably am not so I even though I really want him to kiss me its actually very cool that he respects me not enough to try. Or maybe I have gotten way ahead of myself and he doesn’t try to kiss me because he does not want to. I am not someone who usually thinks people are into me I think he is but it doesn’t matter anyway. I am having fun hanging out with him whether he is into me or not. There are things I was hesitant to do because of memories or fear or running into my ex but than I go with him and I don’t think about that and have fun.
Work is also better I actually have work to do. Also
Weight when I was with my ex boyfriend: 197
30ish days without him: 178
A lot more to go but also so much progress.
Also I fucking mailed him his keys back I don’t want them. It’s done i don’t need keys to an apartment I will never be in and I don’t need him to have to text me one day because he needs his spare car key.