my response to the shitty letter my ex sent mee

work in progress very tired and angry not sure if i will respond to him or just the internet.

 

Please don’t think I am an idiot who has no idea that you lied to me over and over again.

Please stop thinking you are a good guy a good guy would never do what you did to me.

When I said to just tell me if you did not love me or you liked someone else instead you said I was paranoid or blamed my depression. That is called gas lighting. That is something shitty abusive people do you acted like you were above my abusive exes but you pulled the same shit in the end. You let me think I was crazy for thinking something was wrong with out relationship that I was crying all the time for no reason. The fact you stopped spending time with me or coming home was in my head. That the girls you were out with till 5am were just your friends. Seriously fuck you for thinking you are a good guy. You aren’t your a fake and you’re a liar. I got over you a long time ago but that doesn’t make what you did okay.

Saying nice things to someones face if they are lies does not make you a nice guy.

You are a monster. I want nothing to do with you. Thanks for sending me my stuff.

 

 

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these dreams will be the death of me

stupid dreams. I had a dream I had to go to your apartment for some reason you weren’t there. We had already broken up but apparently weren’t at no contact stage. You had decorated your room with all types or art which made me get upset.

Because in the dream and in reality I am afraid you think I stopped you from your art and creative process and I never did. It doesn’t make sense for you to break up with me so you can work on you writing and go to the gym I never stopped you from that. I wanted you do that. Just feels like Ive been lied to.

Anyways I am doing somewhat better besides the stupid dreams. I cry less at work, Ive lost at least 10 lbs. I haven’t had coffee, sweets or fast food in two weeks. I get compliments at work and can add more things to my resume although still want another job should work on my resume this weekend.