I don’t know why today is so hard maybe its because I have slowly been able to get more positive thoughts in my head so when I think of you it feels ever worse.
I think its partly because I am only now having to push myself to accept its over. You said all these things that gave me too much hope and made it seem like you really loved me. Thanks to social media I can see how your going out so easily and comforting girls who are sad who are not me. We are not getting back together I don’t know if we can be friends. I don’t know who you are anymore and its only been a few weeks and you already seem like a stranger. I don’t know what happened to the person I was in love with and what happened to the person who was in love with me. How could someone who made future plans with me who said I was their family treat me like this. I know I keep saying this but you didn’t give me a chance I had no idea you weren’t happy with me even when we broke up you still wouldn’t admit you weren’t happy with me it was just your job….but how quickly you have gotten over it you must not have been happy. I thought you really loved me. I thought you meant what you said to me.
I was just someone to help you get over your ex maybe I was never the type of girl you could be with? I thought we were good together. I watched you evolve you lost weight, you dressed crazier/better/more your self, you started a lot of the projects your working on while you were with me…I never wanted you to stop any of those things I always supported them I still don’t get how breaking up with me makes you able to do those things again. I feel like you are just hanging out with all your cooler looking friends and more artistic friends and you did not want me to be part of that or near that so its easier now. Its really hurtful everything you’ve done this last month is not nice or kind. Unless you really mean what you said to me but your actions don’t line up with that.
I really want this blog to be positive but I am just being honest with my feelings. Whenever I am feeling somewhat hopeful the computer is not around.
People have been insanely kind to me and I’m thankful and hopeful for that.